one year on

do you ever stop and think about what you were doing on this day a year ago, perhaps even more.

this year i can’t be off it. we’d had a text from my sister to say all the alarms on mum on the hospital had gone off. we’d gone up and were probably waiting at the moment probably a little while before the doctor came and gave us the fateful news that there was really nothing more they could do than make her comfortable and let her slip peacefully away

in many ways the worst night of my life to date but at the same time i had a sense of calm. mum was a very committed Christian and i knew she wss going to be with Jesus. i think too though it was down to our church, Hope praying for us at the time. they were meeting for prayer and vision which had a planned agenda but broke off to pray for mum and for the family.

i was later struck by more wonder as to how God uses people in prayer when someone from church who lives round the corner from mum and dad shared about how when they were walking home on the Tuesday night past mum and dads felt an urgent sense to pray in tongues. they didn’t know what was happening but felt struck to pray that Gods will would be done in the situation. the person in question had no idea of what was going on….

so this is the last first if that makes sense. hopefully we can all move on a little from now. as i said to dad this aftermoon life has changed for all of us, him more than anyone. a person missing makes a big difference particularly such a great person that mum was but she would want us all to make the best of life- she’d be pleased to know we were going to America in april to visit her cousins. she would want dad to get his op out of the way and find something to occupy his time, she’d want jared and Holly to habe a great wedding and enjoy married life together

so here s to mum and her new life with Jesus and our new but harder life without her…

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New Year’s eve

Every new year is a time when you can stop and reflect on what’s gone and what’s to come. For the first new years eve, there is a mum shaped hole in my life and even though its nearly a year since we lost her thats still very hard.

Some make resolutions. I prefer not to call them resolutions but just to stop and think about what i want to achieve.

I want to lose weight. i need to- I’ve realised recently how unfit I am. I want to really dig into God in prayer and bible reading. Its so easy to say that but having the discipline to keep to it can be hard. I want to do my best at work. despite the challenges of getting back into the work place its so clear to me that that is where God wanted me. I have also been lucky to have the opportunity to get back into scouting in a support role and again it was the right opportunity at the right time. Finally and importantly I want to get us working well as a family. Let’s just say having a pre teen is a challenge! But its Gods command for the man to be the head of his family and for the family to be strong and that’s what I must work towards.

So I’m going into the New year in positive fashion. lots to work on and lots to look forward to- a trip to the US in April to visit family and a party for my 50th birthday just too and I’m sure there will be more as we go.

So all that remains is to say Happy New year one and all !

Thinking forward

It would be so easy to sit and feel sorry for myself after the last couple of years . They have been tough and some situations still need resolutions and they won’t be easy.

However the.one thing that I have felt very clearly the last two years is that God has plans for us to really use us in the future and whilst it can feel like there are obstacles in the way at the moment everything is in his timing

As we move towards 2019 I sense it can and will be a big year and not just because I turn 50. There are resolutions to the obstacles and I know that God is going to come through next year. I just need to really dig in deep to him and make sure my focus is in the right place.

It’s good to write and share your thoughts and feelings and I intend to use this blog regularly, at least once a week if not more often so please follow where I’m at and pray for us as needed

As we come to the evening of Christmas eve, we think of that tiny baby being born in a manager and whilst his birth was in miraculous circumstances many people at the time wouldn’t have known what he was going to become and how he was going to bring salvation to the world. God’s plans for me won’t quite be on that level but I do sense I am entering a significant period of my life

As I sign off this entry all that remains is to wish you all a very happy Christmas!!

Going going gone….

Today is auction day our house of 12 years going for sale

I never finished that post that day but it sold…and at a good price.

That wasnt the end of the story though. A tenant not moving on meaning we were technically homeless for about 4 weeks then when we found somewhere and move in Mary falls downstairs badly breaking her arm and requiring an operation. Then having all been ill at Christmas losing my mum in early January..

God really does like to test us sometimes! We’re relying though on the fact that we believe he has a plan for us going forward and that he is going to use us …in what way we don’t really know yet but he will reveal it to us in time. Its hard to be patient but you can’t hurry God. He will do all in his time….

Get your act together

a stark reminder this week as to why i want to get involved in politics

my mum was sent up to A and E at Ipswich hospital  despite the fact she was clearly not well she was sent home with antibiotics

the following day, yesterday she was sent back by the doctor  after sitting there for a total of about 10 hours she was sent home again despite the best efforts of the family  

i’m not having a go at the doctors and nurses who all do a great job with long hours anf who work.hard but its down to the lack of funding in the NHS by our current government  there should be beds and resources available  a 71 year old in lots of pain and with a chest infection should not be sent home twice, the latter at 10pm on a cold wet night  a bed should be available to those that need it  we should get what has been paid for by taxes over the years  the government needs to get their act togethet or even better get the new goverment we need!!!

you’ĺl never walk alone

A well known song but with some meaning. having been going through anxiety and depression the words really talk. 

Depression and anxiety is like a storm but as the song says we shouldnt be afraid of the dark times in our lives ; they happen but we’re not alone. as well as any humans there to support us and hold our hands we have God with us every step of the way and leading us through the dark times to the life he has planned for us. We will never walk alone!

A chance to take control

In recent times ive taken more of an interest in politics and have recently joined the lib dems and really want to get involved 

Its a great opportunity for rhe traditional third party   the conservatives have a new leader and whilst i think shes probably better than they  had before shes got to deal with the fallout of the brexit vote 

And as for the Labour party…..corbyn simply cant lead and wont admit it but blames the parliamentary party for a coup but i don’t think there was any plan just MPs jumping on tbe bandwagon when someone made the first move   corbyn may have support from his party members but not from the electarote at large which is what matters

And so the lib dems need to capatalise    a sound party with sound policies growing rapidly and already gaining council seats the future looks good   

So as they say the futures bright the futures orange….